Anatomy of a Friday night (10pm edition):
2pm: Go to bar to meet friends. Order bottle of wine despite friends not being there.
2.30pm: Friends arrive.
3.30p: Wine finished; second bottle ordered.
5pm: Pick boy up from work; 1 bottle under the belt. Have a beer at boy’s work.
6pm: Sushi dinner – brilliant. 1 more beer.
6.30pm: “Browse” books. Throw miniture tantrum and declare that boy is a prick who never loved you anyway.
7pm: Dragged to car by long suffering and very patient boy, all the while drinking a terrible coffee that will supposedly have sobering effects. Not the case.
7.15pm: Demand McDonald’s Coke on the way home. Boy does not oblige; boy himself must be boozy for these things to happen.
7:20pm (approx): Arrive home.
10pm: Wake up to the noise of boy furiously playing xBox, with no recollection whatsoever of the night past the point of demanding (and being refused) McDonald’s Coke. Learn that you stormed inside and passed out without a second thought. Hang head in shame.
